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I MUST STOP!!!!

I don 't know who these people are, but all other people that blog about applying to MBA programs are intimidating. I NEED TO STOP READING THESE BLOGS! It is a sick weakness. I feel compelled to read them all the time. It is seriously taking away time from my studies. I know that I am a non-traditional candidate and the majority of these people wouldn't even consider doing a MSW/MBA dual-degree if someone paid them to, so I should stop torturing myself. RIGHT?! But it has become my favorite form of procrastination, since my knee is on the fritz I can't sweat it out.

I won't even comment on the perfectness of the people on the forums. I am becoming jealous, so I need to stop before I lose sight of all my former confidence. Everyone pray for my knee to get better, because I am turning into a neurotic, obsessed, weirdo.

In other news, I got my ticket to Americorps Pre-Service Training. YAAAAYY!!!!! I am so excited about starting with Habitat. It has been so long since I have had an exciting and challenging job. I can't wait. I have never done program development, so it will be an entirely new beast to slay. I am also excited to work in economic development. I have never had a job that falls so closely in line with my long term career goals. It looks like it will be a promising year starting with an orientation in Hot-Lanta.

Full Steam Ahead!!!!

Today I am officially starting my GMAT prep, I am going to take my first practice test to get an idea of where I stand. I am hoping it isn't too much of an up hill battle. I need to get around 700 at least to get into one of my target schools.

I have never really studied for a standardized test before. When I to the SAT's and the ACT's, I was a freshmen and got a good score, so I wasn't really worried after that. Also I started getting migraines my junior year so my focus on everything vaporized. This is an entirely new experience for me. I am really excited to have something to completely focus my energy into and dream about. It has been a long time since I really wanted something. The apathy that comes with chronic pain isn't something that is easily explained. After overcoming part of pain, now I feel like I can tackle my goals again in the same way I did when I was young only with more determination and strength

Fill ya in when I take the test...lets see if it is going to be an long climb...urgh! Hope I am ready for this.

Migraine City!

Migraines are my life right now...it is sad but true. I am trying to think of good ways to combat my migraines. I have come to the conclusion that I am truely and utterly disabled by these headaches, so I must make it my goal to prevent as many as possible.

I have a new neurologist, who I completely adore. He is the first person to really sit down and explain migraines to me in detail. Additionally, he really took time to explain why I have constant migraine pain, instead of the normal occasional migraines. It is really amazing to have a great doctor to work with on this.

Additionally, I think the green smoothie thing is working a bit. I am having about an hour or so of pain free time a day. I am hoping that this time in the morning will help me propel myself to the gym.

Exercise is supposed to help migraines substantially. I also am trying to set up a sleep schedule, but it is so tempting to stay up late, and sleep in on weekends. URGH! I guess reduced pain is worth it though.

Strange new territory...

So I am doing three new things this week to spice up my normal existence:

1. Daily Green Smoothies (sounds gross, but completely delightful)
2. Tweeting on a regular basis (usually 2 or 3 times a day)
3. Attempting to go to the gym (not really that new, and not really making it :P)

As self improvement ventures go, I am pretty impressed with my smoothie commitment. Green smoothies are a revelation; I am not tired at work (HUGE) and randomly loosing weight. I am really surprised because they really taste good, I will have to admit that when I blended up the first one I though "YUCK!!!" I am totally hopping on the bandwagon now.

Tweeting...hmmm. I am not really sure if I think this is an improvement or just a new way to procrastinate. I am meeting some cool people, which is nice. I seriously will have to keep an eye on the time spent on this, it has the potential to completely consume my day.

Lastly, going to the gym everyday, really who am I kidding! A girl has to have a dream. I swear tomorrow is going to be the day, I have my alarm set, bag packed and I even downloaded a work out. I just have to convince my 5:45am self that I can do it.

Meaningful Work

I don't know about you, but I find studying incredibly hard. Somehow I just can't seem to make myself sit down and focus. For instance, right now I am writing this post instead of preparing for my midterm on Wednesday.

I have friends that can sit for hours and study, I mean really get things done. I envy them.

I have often thought, "I want to be great at something...not just ok, great!" Malcolm Gladwell said at the recent Dreamforce Conference that greatness, "...is the result of putting your heart and mind into something to create successful, meaningful work." If this is true it is very possible that I am missing out on my chance to be great, because I am not disciplined.

Over and over, I see myself become consumed with a new interest. I try to gather every bit of information on it, only to fizzle out and end up in the same place. How do I make that transition into the disciplined person I want to be?

Driving through the Fog

Friday I had my first migraine in 3 weeks, I had almost gotten used to normal. This one came with one hell of a fog. That thick fog that makes it impossible to even remember who you are, what you are doing, or how to get to where you are going. I was going to the library, one that I have frequented sense I was 10 years old. In the thick haze I couldn't remember the street names, at one point I couldn't remember who had the right of way.

Sometimes I wonder I should have to take a clarity test to leave the house in the morning, but the sad thing is I never know when it is creeping up. I know without my mom in the car I may not have made it to the library that day. Any other day I can get there from any location, but in that fog I can't do much. It is really weird when I can't place words....that is when I really feel stupid.

There is one great thing about this. Some days, not all, I have a clear concise reason for for my stupid mistakes or antics.